![]() While I’m here, I want to say one thing about the female protagonists in the Transformers movies. I love a big event movie, and the Battle of Chicago was rad. Third Transformers was actually my favourite of the three. Second Transformers was a bit average, and really upped the robots-fighting quotient to the point that it turned into visual noise: you couldn’t even see what was going on. Tranformers: Age Of Extinction opens on 27 June.įirst Transformers was a solid romp. There has already been a sequel confirmed for 2017, and I can’t wait to not see it. ![]() ![]() It’s a B-movie in every possible way, and B-movies require alcohol and laughter to get through. The only way I would recommend Tranformers: Age Of Extinction is if you’re with a group of your funniest, drunkest friends. That was the point I considered walking out. It got to a point in the middle where if you had asked me to describe the events that had happened half an hour ago in the film, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. There’s pointless fight after pointless fight and stupid dialogue after stupid dialogue. There are so many problems with Transformers: Age Of Extinction that we can barely cover them all in one review without spontaneously combusting. That’s two out of about 10 examples we saw. 30 minutes later, a Transformer crashes through a bus bearing a large Victoria’s Secret ad. Together with Stanley Tucci’s character - an evil Steve Jobs of sorts - Kelsey Grammer will use The Seed to turn organic matter into a metal called Transformium (still with me?) to make new and better transformer robots for the private sector.Ĭue the Yaeger family and the creepy boyfriend character getting involved in the massive search for the bounty hunter Transformer and The Seed in order to save the world with the help of the Autobots.Įvery 20 minutes you’re assaulted with another terrible product placement piece: at one point Marky Mark crashes into a Bud Light truck, before arguing with the driver, cracking one open and drinking it before threatening to assault him. In exchange, bounty-hunter Transformer will give the head of the CIA death squad - played by Kelsey Grammer - a Macguffin called “The Seed”. Here’s where it starts to go sideways: the CIA death squad is actually in the secret employ of a Transformer bounty-hunter from another world who wants Optimus Prime for his trophy case of kills. The government seems to hate Transformers these days, so the discovery brings an elite CIA death squad down on Marky Mark’s family, leading to the unfortunate death of T.J Miller early on in the piece. Marky Mark and T.J Miller locate an old truck and purchase it in order to strip it down, before discovering that they’ve happened upon a wounded Optimus Prime. We’re also introduced to the excellent T.J Miller early on, who is part of Marky Mark’s salvage and repair business, and some Irish guy that plays boyfriend to the daughter character. It’s worth noting that I had to look up both of their character names: the film makes no effort getting you to remember who they are. The film centres around Cade Yeager, played by Mark Wahlberg, and his daughter Tessa Yeager, played by Nicola Peltz. With this review, it’s hard to even begin, mostly because there are about six different plots going on at once. Usually when we review a film, we first describe to you a brief overview of the plot, talk about the effects, the action and mention the problems as we saw them. Spoiler Alert: There are spoilers beyond this point, but for the love of all things holy, it’s a Transformers movie. In Transformers: Age Of Extinction, however, it’s beyond a joke: it’s full-blown Michael Bayhem. You expect that things will explode, character development will be thin and plot will be thinner. There’s a certain expectation about what you’re going to get when you sit down for a Michael Bay blockbuster.
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